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			<h1 id="section_0">"The Monster in the Twilight" - Review</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:%22The_Monster_in_the_Twilight%22_-_Review&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=%22The+Monster+in+the+Twilight%22+-+Review" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
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<td>ZaidValRoa
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Monday 23rd of February 2015 12:02:12 AM CDT
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<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
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<td>Monday 23rd of February 2015 12:02:12 AM CDT
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id=".22The_Monster_in_the_Twilight.22_-_Review">"The Monster in the Twilight" - Review</span><a href="&quot;The_Monster_in_the_Twilight&quot;_-_Review#/editor/1" title="Edit section: &quot;The Monster in the Twilight&quot; - Review" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />&#160;The Monster in the Twilight<br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;https://www.fimfiction.net/story/78582/the-monster-in-the-twilight</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;96,2k words</span><br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sad, Adventure, Alternate Universe</span><br />&#160;<br />Twilight Sparkle's brilliant mind was gone, burned away by her own power when she nearly destroyed Canterlot twelve years ago. Now there is a monster prowling the Everfree. And it is starting to remember what true power felt like.<br />&#160;<br />...<br />&#160;<br />From the description, one could think that this story is going to be about a broken Twilight, wandering around the Everfree, scared and alone, and how the ponies from Ponyville react to this, and you'd be right, because that is precisely what happens!<br />&#160;<br />For the first eighteen or so chapters, at least.<br />&#160;<br />That's the point where things start to feel weird. Like <span class="co4">&gt;&gt;21934427 said, halfway through, the author starts introducing sideplots and new characters. I'll give you a rundown of the main events of the fic, so... y'know. Spoilers ahead:</span><br />&#160;<br />- Sonic Rainboom happens<br />&#160;<br />- Twilight loses control of her magic and starts wrecking the Castle. Celestia arrives and tries to calm Twilight down, this backfires as Twilight syphons the energy of the Sun through Celestia and gets even more powerful. Fearing what may happen if this keeps going on, Celestia zaps Twilight to the Everfree.<br />&#160;<br />- There, she is found by a young Zecora, who has just arrived at the Everfree following the orders of her elders back in Zebrica. She finds her scared, hurt, on the brink of death, and with no memories, so she nurses filly Twilight back to health and adopts her as her daughter.<br />&#160;<br />- Amongs the rubble of the Castle, Princess Celestia finds Trixie and she takes her as her apprentice. She is not seen or mentioned for another twenty or so chapters, but that's alright because this story is about Twilight, right?<br />&#160;<br />- Fast forward twelve years and Shing Armour and Cadence are at the Everfree alongside a group of unicorn guards. Apparently they've been doing this every year since Twilight got lost. Once Twilight escapes again, they all go back to Canterlot and are not seen or mentioned for fifteen or so chapters, but that's alright because this story is about Twilight, right?<br />&#160;<br />- Also Cadence is now pregnant. This is mentioned again twice in the rest of the story.<br />&#160;<br />- Then, we start to follow Apple Bloom as she finds out about &quot;Monster&quot; as she has been calling her. She also gets her to do her homework for her, and that's how they start to bond. Apple Bloom gets books and food for &quot;Monster&quot; and Twilight does her homework. It's pretty endearing.<br />&#160;<br />- At this point we find out that Twilight has some cognitive problems, almost as if she had been on her own this whole time and developed a feral personality instead of having been raised by Zecora for well over a decade. We also find out that feral Twilight has a crush on Big Mac, which she tries to show through gifts to him. For a couple of chapters. When Twilight gives Big Mac a room full of flowers and sends him to the hospital because she didn't know Big Mac was allergic to pollen. However, he forgives her and allows Apple Bloom to go see her again. He is not seen again for the rest of the fic.<br />&#160;<br />- When Scootaloo starts to get suspicious about Apple Bloom spending so much time &quot;doing her homework&quot; instead of going out with Sweetie Belle and her on Crusades, she decides to follow Apple Bloom and ends up discovering &quot;Monster&quot;.<br />&#160;<br />- Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle bring Twist with them to try to get the truth from Apple Bloom. The four of them start to spend time with Twilight in the Everfree. However, they keep referring to her as &quot;Monster&quot;. They then bring Featherweight, who starts taking a lot of pictures of their outings. A couple of chapters are spent with them just having fun in the Everfree, and we see how even the most fearsome creatures are scared of Twilight. These chapters are the high point of the fic.<br />&#160;<br />- Not long before Nightmare Moon returns, Twilight and company are kidnapped by Chrysalis and her changelings. Yeah. While inside one of the cocoons, Twilight ends up having a dream in which Nightmare Moon tries to take ahold of her because of her sheer power, but Twilight breaks free thanks to the intervention of a changeling drone. Twilight proceeds to free her friends and adoptive mom, destroying the hive and killing almost every single changeling.<br />&#160;<br />- Once they're out, they find Chrysalis who is about to die due to her injuries. They talk for a while and then Twilight storms off because she doesn't know if she should kill her or not.<br />&#160;<br />- Later, the story reminds us that Shining Armour and Cadence exist by sending them to the Everfree and find out what was that weird explosion. They find Chrysalis on her last moments, and as her last actions she makes Cadence the new Queen of the Changeling Hive by connecting her to the hivemind. This is the last time this is mentioned in anything more than a brief line of dialogue.<br />&#160;<br />- From this point, we spend all the time following Trixie and Celestia. Remember when Trixie was in this fic?<br />&#160;<br />- Celestia banishes herself to the sun to keep Nightmare Moon from taking hold of her magic, since in this story, the Nightmare is similar to a Wendigo, feeding of anger, hate, and negative emotions.<br />&#160;<br />- One of Trixie's guards happens to be a changeling, and Trixie puts him in charge of taking care of Twilight, Zecora <span class="br0">&#40;</span>who was transformed by Twilight to look like a young Cadence<span class="br0">&#41;</span>, and the CMC+<span class="nu0">2</span> while she holds NMM back. Twilight and the group finds out about the Elements of Harmony and decide to go get them, while the guard goes after them, trying to stop them. Notice how the guard being a changeling barely affects the events unfolding.<br />&#160;<br />- Trixie does a fairly good job, and manages to enrage NMM, giving time for the rest of Ponyville to evacuate town. She manages to escape and meets with the rest of the Mane <span class="nu0">6</span> plus the transformed Zecora. When they find out that Twi and the rest are going to the Everfree<br />&#160;<br />- Thankfully, we're spared from having to see how everyone goes through challenges to get to the Castle <span class="br0">&#40;</span>back in the earlier, better chapters, it's shown which element Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Twist, and Featherweight represent<span class="br0">&#41;</span>, since NMM is already there and is preparing everything for the moment Twilight arrives and take over her body. There are just a couple and go by quickly.<br />&#160;<br />-They make it to the Castle, but Twilight got ahead of the group and goes inside to face the bad pony <span class="br0">&#40;</span>quick sidenote, feral Twilight's monologues are great<span class="br0">&#41;</span>, and she is then trapped in the Castle with NMM.<br />&#160;<br />- Trixie realises that Nightmare Moon feeds of power, anger, and hate to make herself strong. It's a good scene, and a fairly good work of deduction which would have been better if there had been more of a set-up to that instead of practically none.<br />&#160;<br />- The changeling transforms into Celestia, for some reason, and breaks the door open with his changeling powers. This is the only time that a changeling actually affects the plot in any meaningful way, and even then it could have worked better if another character would have done it.<br />&#160;<br />- Once the doors are open, the CMC+<span class="nu0">2</span> go in, before NMM closes the door again, leaving Trixie and the rest of the Mane <span class="nu0">6</span> outside.<br />&#160;<br />- The CMC+<span class="nu0">2</span> manage to stand their ground against NMM as Twilight figures out they're the Elements. Magic Rainbow happens, but Twilight realises that the Elements are draining her friends, and they will die if they try to purge the Nightmare from Luna instead of just killing her. Since she won't allow her friends to die, she creates a pocket dimension where Luna and her will be encased by the Elements. This comes out of nowhere, since no spell was mentioned before, and Trixie jutifies it by saying Princess Celestia once had done something similar.<br />&#160;<br />- Once Luna and Twilight are inside the pocket Dimension, Trixie, Zecora <span class="br0">&#40;</span>who is back to her normal Zebra look<span class="br0">&#41;</span> and the rest of the Mane <span class="nu0">6</span> manage to break the door and get inside of the Castle.<br />&#160;<br />- Up to this point, Trixie has been feeling cheated since she was only Celestia's replacement for TWilight. So, trying to prove herself, she takes the tiara of Magic and tries to pull Twilight and Luna back from the Pocket Dimension. With a little help from her friends, she manages to take both of them out.<br />&#160;<br />- Oh, and Twilight is now a filly again. And an alicorn.<br />&#160;<br />- Celestia breaks free from her imprisonment, Luna is sorry, Trixie burned her mane, The CMC+<span class="nu0">2</span> are celebrating the advent of the fillycorn, and everything wraps up.<br />&#160;<br />- Oh, and Zecora gets shipped with the changeling at the last fucking second because he started rhyming out of nowhere. I kid you not.<br />&#160;<br />- Then there's the epilogue, in which it's revealed that Trixie and the rest of the Mane <span class="nu0">6</span> pose as the Elements to protect the fillies. Twilight now lives in a tree <span class="br0">&#40;</span>No, not the Treebrary, there's where Trixie lives with Spike, silly. Yes, Spike is in this fic too, for a grand total of three lines of dialogue, ten chaptes ago<span class="br0">&#41;</span>, with her adopted parents, Zecora and the changeling. Yes. Also, they get constant visits from Shining Armour and Cadence, alongside their daughter <span class="br0">&#40;</span>remember when Cadence was pregnant? This is the payoff, one mention in one scene in the epilogue<span class="br0">&#41;</span> She is also visited by her parents, the biological ones, who haven't been mentioned or acknowledged in any way since the very first chapter.<br />&#160;<br />- There's a post-epilogue which sets up the sequel, in which feral fillycorn Twilight writes letters to Luna because... they're both outcasts, I guess.<br />&#160;<br />So, the final veredict is...<br />&#160;<br />I actually liked this fic.<br />&#160;<br />Now hold on, there are some very troubling things with it. For example, I don't CARE about what Trixie, and the rest of Ponyville is doing. You know why? Because I've spent the last twenty chapters with feral Twilight and the CMC+<span class="nu0">2</span>. I care about what they're doing. I care about their little adventures and how they bond and become friends.<br />&#160;<br />The entire changeling sub-arc could have been removed it, and it would hardly impact the story. Seriously, Twilight's memory could have been triggered by one of the dozens of Smarty Pants dolls Cadence had made and left in the Everfree. and there was no reason to have the changelings in this story, since the one who follows the CMC in the forest could have been replaced with another guard, or hell, even Trixie.<br />&#160;<br />Overall, the story is not bad, not at all. It just gets bogged down by so much unnecessary stuff it lowers the quality of the entire fic. I give it a <span class="nu0">6.5</span>/<span class="nu0">10</span></div></div>




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